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Religion, Sex, and Powdered Sugar

Gawd

I saw the film ‘Religulous’ recently. I enjoyed it and thought that it was funny. I’ve heard some people use the word ‘sobering’ when describing it, though. While I understand what they mean and agree with them in a very general way, I cannot fully empathize. I can’t say that I had the same emotional response. The experience of watching that movie wasn’t sobering for me because I was already sober in that way. I already found the notion of religion to be ridiculous. The fact that the majority of the people on this planet still subscribe to some form of organized religion is something that I have pondered and been freaked out by since childhood. I understand the original necessity of religion – that it was the common and natural direction for the primitive and fearful mind blah blah blah – but am terrified by the enduring collective attachment to it.

Doin’ It

I don’t like the burgeoning phrase, ‘sexual relations.’ The frequency at which I hear it is increasing, and that bothers me. Clearly, those words were arranged in such a manner so as to serve as a reference to either sex OR contact of a sexual nature. Don’t we consider most types of sexual contact to be sex, though? In my experience, most people do. Vaginal, oral, anal, assisted-masturbation, etc is sex. If these things aren’t involved, which would leave us with kissing, groping, and flirting, then it isn’t sex and there are other, more appropriate descriptions for it.

Of course, the other perceived benefit of such phrasing is that it softens the delivery of the information; diction that is considered to be more classy and tactful. I find this type of sugar-coating to be useless, though. It does nothing but increase the required effort and number of syllables needed to convey a perfectly straight-forward message. It makes our language less efficient. They had sex. See? Isn’t that better?

Stray Thoughts (I fed them once and now they return)

I’d like to spend more time with people who’ve built toilets – who are capable of such engineering – and less time with those who can’t seem to get their urine into them.

An idea for the cover copy of Fit Pregnancy Magazine: “Get Rock Hard Abs Now”

A product idea: Tortilla chips in the shape of Mexico.

I can appreciate what most people recognize as the benefits of being a vampire; powers of flight and seduction, immunity to illness, immortality, etc. To me, though, the greatest benefit would be that I could use the necessary avoidance of sunlight as an excuse to watch movies all day.

I’d like powdered sugar to come in the same type of container that baby powder does; the plastic one with little holes at the top. I enjoy the idea of squeezing the container to puff the sugar onto my pancakes.

Every time you fart, your soul becomes just a little lighter and thereby closer to being capable of floating up to heaven.

My IM client tells me when someone is typing. It also tells me when the person has stopped typing. I’d like the program altered so that it conveyed a realistic idea of what has happened when someone stops typing. Something like, “Soandso was about to be very candid but decided against it. Soandso doesn’t really trust you like that.”