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Chai Masterson

So, I woke up with a teddy bear in my hands [instead of the cat, wrapped around my head like usual].

“You have a teddy bear? What the fuck, dude…”

Well, I’ve had it since I was a pup. He’s called my Coocoo Bear. He has a T-Shirt on that says, “I can’t bear it without you.” Cute, right? Well, I’ve tried to get rid of it a few times, but couldn’t do it. I’d toss it in the trash when we were getting ready to move [we moved like, once or twice a year], but would then retrieve it at the last moment and stuff it in a suitcase. I just couldn’t do it.

At one point, I lost him. I guess I had taken him along on a trip to one of my sister’s aunt’s house and accidently left it. At that point, he became a dog-toy. A couple years later, while visiting them again, I saw him. I had completely forgotten about him. The fond memories began to race through my mind and I HAD to get him back.

“Hey, that’s my Coocoo bear.”

“No it’s not. It’s the dog’s toy…has been for years.”

“No, it’s my bear. I left him here and I’m taking him back.”

They weren’t having it. They were convinced that Coocoo had always been their dog’s toy and were not about to part with it. Fuckers. So, I had to devise plan. We were all near the front door, puting our shoes on and getting ready to leave when I mentioned that I had to go to the bathroom. I trotted to the restroom, dashed into the room across from it, and grabbed my little friend. I stuffed him under my shirt and zipped up my coat. I exited their home with my arms crossed so as to push down the puffy front-part of my coat [trying my best to appear as if I had no stuffed animal on my person.]

It worked. I slipped out of hostile territory with ‘the goods.’ The mission impossible theme played in my 10 year-old head. “Dun dun dundun dun dun dundun”

So yeah, I still have him. I don’t sleep with him or anything – he’s on the floor, between my bed and the wall, sort of under the bed. This morning, though, I awoke clutching him. Macho, right?

Brandon and I had a breakfast of jalapeno potato chips while finishing the Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD. Afterwards, I took Brandon home and headed over to a cafe. They were closed, but I leached their wi-fi connection from the parking lot until they opened. Once open, I chilled there for a couple hours – drank chai, ate quiche and grapes, listened to music. It was nice. My work schedule changed and has me working on Saturdays, so Sunday is the start of my weekend and I felt the need to relax. Speaking of, I haven’t worked a Saturday in over five years and am quite pissed about having to do so now. Fuckers…

I then went to Coral Gables – a restaurant I use to manage. I shot the shit with the owners [cool guys], had a turkey melt, then headed to the mall where I bought a belt. I’ve been losing weight and my jeans have been falling off of me. Don’s been busting a sag, dawg. *Scratches record*

After the mall, I hung out with Shelby. He ‘borrowed’ some music from me and paid me in water. For the record, Shelby’s kid is cuter than a puppy in pudding.

After Shelby’s, I visit with Grandma for a bit. I kissed her dog on the mouth. I’m a player.

Now, I’m at another cafe. For some reason, I don’t want to go home, today. Also, I have nothing interesting to say, hence the breakdown of my entire day on mr. bloggington. Don’t you feel like you just wasted time reading it? Be honest, now…