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DON’T ask Jeeves.

Questions. I have questions. After digging around, I learned that if one has questions, AskJeeves.com would most certainly have the answers. Intrigued, I gave it a try. I was so impressed with the service, I decided to interview the man, himself – Jeeves. Odd guy, that Jeeves. Likes the sauce, if you know what I mean.

[Method: I asked questions at the AskJeeves website and got the answers from it’s results]

Me: Well then, how goes it, Mr. Jeeves?
Jeeves: If we are to remain moral as well as logical, then we must restore consistency to our code.
Me: Wow. You don’t waste any time.
Jeeves: Wow, did they really waste time on something as ghey as that?
Me: As what? What are you talking a bout?
Jeeves: What you talking ’bout Willis?
Me: Ah. A classic. So, back to the interview. Keeping yourself busy these days?
Jeeves: A Snowman Is No Man’s Woman.
Me: Interesting. You seem quite open with your sexual escapades.
Jeeves: Sex and the City
Me: Great show. So, you’re a fan? Who’s your favorite character?
Jeeves: Who’s Your Favorite Character from Inuyasha?
Me: Hey guy, I asked you first. What’s that white stuff on your shirt?
Jeeves: Screw You and DIE…I hope you BURN
Me: Whoa there, Cowboy. Little too much yayo, this morning? You need to keep that shit in check.
Jeeves: Mad long since last update.
Me: No shit? Doesn’t seem that way. Why don’t you wait until after the interview for your next bump…or line – you seem like a line-kinda-guy.
Jeeves: Why didn’t god eradicate all the sins and evils?
Me: Wow, quite the transition. I’m thinking that god [whoever that may be] understands the need for balance – you know, dark & light, hot & cold, etc.
Jeeves: A single standing teepee.
Me: Not sure I follow, bud…
Jeeves: Grandpa Bud: Comprehension Lesson.
Me: Oh, you’re going to give ME a lesson? And, who are you calling ‘grandpa?’ – I’m 24 years old, ass. How old are YOU? With a name like ‘Jeeves,’ I’d guess that you’re a senior fucking citizen!
Jeeves: Let us remain standing just a moment while we bow our heads for prayer.
Me: What the fuck is your problem, man? You’re obviously on more than just coke, aren’t you? Don’t touch me!
Jeeves: Sophie awoke from a dreamless sleep to find her older brother standing next to the bed.
Me: Whatever, crazy-guy. Just get the fuck out.