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Cop, nurse, and me…but blind

So, I saw Ashley Simpson get owned on SNL. Too funny. For those of you that missed it, she got busted lip-synching. The recording of her voice started playing while her mic was held near her waist. Oh, and it was the wrong song altogether. The classy Simpson stated [at the end of the show, on live TV] that it was her bands’ fault as they were “Playing the wrong song.” Apparently, if a group of instrumentalists are strumming, plucking, and drumming away, it can trigger a magical voice to sound for everyone near to hear… Seriously.

Ashley, you deserved that. You make more money than an entire construction crew does by fooling millions of young girls into thinking that you are the image of what they should be.

I’ve noticed a new product floating around, lately. It’s a plastic handle that attaches to a 2 liter of soda. It has push-down spout so that the fat, lazy, boring, stubborn, uneducated, white-bread, asshole, simple, ignorant, American doesn’t have to fiddle with a complicated screw-off cap while he/she takes in the well-marketed sugar-water that makes up about 200% the recommended daily allowance of calories.

This makes me laugh…hard….and I peed.