Thirteen Steps

Prepare yourself for randomness…

I had the best sushi, ever. It was from SanSu and is called the SanSu Roll. Per the online menu, it’s made up of eel, salmon, tuna, avocado, cucumber, tamango w/ spicy/sweet sauce and is lightly battered. It was perfect, I swear. SanSu also serves a sake called Ozeki Nigori Unfiltered. It was great. In fact, it’s the only sake that I can say I’ve really enjoyed the flavor of.

Cyclo was recommended to me. Has anyone seen it? If so, message me.

I experienced a most magical TV moment, the other day. I was at the Tropical Cafe and the A-Team was on. At one point, Mr. T jumped out of a wedding cake with an uzi and started shooting the bad guys. I don’t even know what to say… I almost choked on a pickle!

Last week, my blood-sugar went from zero to ohfuck! in such a short period of time that I was forced to eat the food closest to me – McDonalds. While there, I overheard a conversation between an employee and one of the customers. The employee spoke of something good that happened to her and the customer responded with, “That’s a good blessing!” Wow. I’m glad that she threw ‘good’ in there as the employee that she was speaking with could have confused it with one of those pesky, bad blessings.

I saw a guy walking with a cane the other day. He didn’t actually need it; it was used to emphasize his pimptitude. He was wearing the usual matching, velour outfit thingy with an unbent hat, dew-rag, and shoes that were not velour, but matched in color the rest of the outfit. The cane was the finishing touch, I guess. I’m curious as to what’s next with the trend of using medical aids in this manner. Crutches with bling? Iron lung?

During a preview at the theater, the announcer stated something about ‘eye-popping adventure.’ I’ve never liked that figure of speech; ‘eye-popping.’ Call me crazy, but I’m going to steer clear of adventure that is capable of popping my eyes. That just doesn’t sound fun.

In that same evening, I saw the trailer for Silent Hill. It was a pretty scary video game. The trailer was good and I’m totally intrigued. It’s been awhile since I saw a horror flick that was at all good.

I like Terrence Howard and William Fichtner.

I drove by Hooter’s of Lansing. The sign’s lights were burned out so that the sign simply read, ‘Ho’s.’ I’m glad that they’re finally being honest with themselves.

Thinking about the concept of Botox… People actually choose to render parts of their face motionless? That’s pretty fucked up. Would it be possible to get a restraining order against everyone who does that? Is there a form that I’d need to fill out or something? Let me know…

A missive that I wrote into my phone the other night while at a show: Dear pseudo-punk scenesters, why wear the shiny, studded, look-at-me belts if you’re just going to let your pants hang way below your ass anyway? Don’t say fashion – your boney ass hanging out is not fashionable. At all.

I’ve noticed, recently, that I don’t physically greet people in the way that most 25 year olds do. The starts-high, sort of telegraphed low-five followed by the grip and shake bit? I don’t do that. I just shake hands. No snap, no twisting movement. I have a feeling that I’m going to be one of those old men who yells at the neighborhood children for walking on my lawn.

This isn’t popular, but who cares. I like puns. There, I said it.

Grab your camera and take a good, straight-on shot of your face. Then, go here and follow the steps needed to determine what you’d look like if you were of a different ethnicity. You can also see yourself as a work of art or as an ape.

I want this book. This one, too.

I’m most excited for this film. I’m pleased that so many important things are being done with cinema, lately.

Anyone ever hear of The Rock Bottom Remainders? It’s a band who’s member’s include Mitch Albom, Dave Barry, and Stephen King. Weird, right?

I love James Lipton. I love everything James Lipton, in fact. I can’t get enough of Will Ferrell’s impression of him. That skit-series was the only funny thing on SNL for a couple of years, straight, I say. The funniest thing that I’ve seen today is a video of James Lipton rapping. Sounds great, right? It gets better. Instead of him rapping something at all legitimate, he does a verse from the most useless human on the planet’s material. No, not Paris Hilton. Understandable mistake, though. His choice of inspiration comes from none other than the Notorious F.E.D., Kevin Federline! The source material can be viewed here. Pretty lame song… MC Lipton’s version is better, I say. Thar she blows. I love it!

I’m really enjoying the following albums: Saul Williams – Saul Williams, Dire Straights – Brothers In Arms, Dj Format – If You Can’t Join ‘Em… Beat ‘Em, Handsome Boy Modeling School – White People, Mary J. Blige – The Breakthrough, Ravi Shankar – Three Ragas, Talking Heads – Once In A Lifetime, The Strokes – [all three albums], Harvey Danger – Little by Little. [This one is free. You can download it right from their website.] I recommend listening to each of them, all-the-way through, like, every day. Screw your homework.