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Another missive.

Dear guy who pissed all over the toilet seat at work,

   I beg you to not venture into public anymore.  I’m serious.  It wasn’t even a sprinkle of urine; the seat was saturated!  If you did it on purpose, you have no right to share the facilities with the rest of us.  You should get in your Chevy Avalanche with the Dale Ernhart bumper sticker and drive back to your home in the macho, redneck side of town and just stay there.  Get a satellite dish so you can catch all the episodes of your favorite generica-TV sitcom where the guy farts and you laugh, order chewing tobacco in bulk, and fuck/beat your wife/sister for not keeping your son/cousin away from your guns/porno.  If it was an accident and you don’t have Parkinson’s disease, you need to stay home and work on your aim until you can successfully utilize a toilet without turning it into some sort of stinky, performance-art piece.

Sincerely,
A fella with aim

4 Comments

  1. darrough wrote:

    Dear guy who is dieting on vommit,
    If you are going to bomb the bathroom with your retched, eye burning, mustard gas shits please evacute our floor first, and for fucks sake flush the fucking toliet.

    Concerned Co – Worker

    Wednesday, January 4, 2006 at 12:26 pm | Permalink
  2. cesp wrote:

    damn the man that pisses on your seat!

    Thursday, January 5, 2006 at 3:24 am | Permalink
  3. Brandon wrote:

    That man makes me sick :(

    Friday, January 6, 2006 at 9:10 am | Permalink
  4. WEZ wrote:

    I laughed.

    WEZ

    Wednesday, January 11, 2006 at 12:20 pm | Permalink

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