Questions. I have questions. After digging around, I learned that if one has questions, AskJeeves.com would most certainly have the answers. Intrigued, I gave it a try. I was so impressed with the service, I decided to interview the man, himself - Jeeves. Odd guy, that Jeeves. Likes the sauce, if you know what I mean.

[Method: I asked questions at the AskJeeves website and got the answers from it's results]

Me: Well then, how goes it, Mr. Jeeves?
Jeeves: If we are to remain moral as well as logical, then we must restore consistency to our code.
Me: Wow. You don’t waste any time.
Jeeves: Wow, did they really waste time on something as ghey as that?
Me: As what? What are you talking a bout?
Jeeves: What you talking ’bout Willis?
Me: Ah. A classic. So, back to the interview. Keeping yourself busy these days?
Jeeves: A Snowman Is No Man’s Woman.
Me: Interesting. You seem quite open with your sexual escapades.
Jeeves: Sex and the City
Me: Great show. So, you’re a fan? Who’s your favorite character?
Jeeves: Who’s Your Favorite Character from Inuyasha?
Me: Hey guy, I asked you first. What’s that white stuff on your shirt?
Jeeves: Screw You and DIE…I hope you BURN
Me: Whoa there, Cowboy. Little too much yayo, this morning? You need to keep that shit in check.
Jeeves: Mad long since last update.
Me: No shit? Doesn’t seem that way. Why don’t you wait until after the interview for your next bump…or line - you seem like a line-kinda-guy.
Jeeves: Why didn’t god eradicate all the sins and evils?
Me: Wow, quite the transition. I’m thinking that god [whoever that may be] understands the need for balance - you know, dark & light, hot & cold, etc.
Jeeves: A single standing teepee.
Me: Not sure I follow, bud…
Jeeves: Grandpa Bud: Comprehension Lesson.
Me: Oh, you’re going to give ME a lesson? And, who are you calling ‘grandpa?’ - I’m 24 years old, ass. How old are YOU? With a name like ‘Jeeves,’ I’d guess that you’re a senior fucking citizen!
Jeeves: Let us remain standing just a moment while we bow our heads for prayer.
Me: What the fuck is your problem, man? You’re obviously on more than just coke, aren’t you? Don’t touch me!
Jeeves: Sophie awoke from a dreamless sleep to find her older brother standing next to the bed.
Me: Whatever, crazy-guy. Just get the fuck out.

Here’s some not-so-surprising news [courtesy of Jenny's friend, Joel]

Remember Ohio? We all knew that it was to be an important state in this year’s presidential election. Turns out, something’s amiss. Almost 98,000 votes [in one county alone] seem to have come out of nowhere. How convenient…

Bay Village: 13,710 registered voters; 18,663 ballots cast
Beachwood: 9,943 registered voters; 13,939 ballots cast
Bedford: 9,942 registered voters; 14,465 ballots cast
Bedford Heights: 8,142 registered voters; 13,512 ballots cast
Brooklyn: 8,016 registered voters; 12,303 ballots cast
Brooklyn Heights: 1,144 registered voters; 1,869 ballots cast
Chagrin Falls (VIL): 3,557 registered voters; 4,860 ballots cast
Cuyahoga Heights: 570 registered voters; 1,382 ballots cast
Fairview Park: 13,342 registered voters; 18,472 ballots cast
Highland Hills: 760 registered voters; 8,822 ballots cast [11 times more votes than voters]
Independence: 5,735 registered voters; 6,226 ballots cast
Mayfield (VIL): 2,764 registered voters; 3,145 ballots cast
Middleburg Heights: 12,173 registered voters; 14,854 ballots cast
North Olmsted: 25,794 registered voters; 25,887 ballots cast
Oakwood (VIL): 2,746 registered voters; 7,099 ballots cast
Olmsted Falls: 6,538 registered voters; 7,328 ballots cast
Pepper Pike: 5,131 registered voters; 6,479 ballots cast
Rocky River: 16,600 registered voters; 20,070 ballots cast
Solon (Ward 6): 2,292 registered voters; 4,300 ballots cast
South Euclid: 16,902 registered voters; 16,917 ballots cast
Strongsville (Ward 3): 7,806 registered voters; 12,108 ballots cast
University Heights: 10,072 registered voters; 11,982 ballots cast
Warrensville Heights: 10,562 registered voters; 15,039 ballots cast

Wow. Why is it that G.W. cannot run for President without a bunch of shady activity going down? See a pattern? Oh, and don’t try to pass this off as ‘liberal bullshit’ - take a look at where these numbers come from:
http://boe.cuyahogacounty.us/BOE/results/currentresults1.htm