So, I just read this article about a fella that was caught with a large weapons cache in his home. His secret was discovered when a neighbor noticed a .50 cal anti-aircraft machine gun sticking out of a window….of his house…in his neighborhood. [scary] The part of this story that gets me, though is a comment made by a neighbor; “We’d always been a bit concerned because we thought we could smell marijuana.” Yeah…potheads are ALWAYS shooting down planes….ass.

I love how our government has brainwashed half the U.S. population into thinking that marijuana is dangerous. Have you seen the commercials? They usually go as follows:

Young woman is babysitting for a friend. She’s participating in the great American past-time, TV, and begins to get bored [go figure]. She mischievously peers left…then right, and pulls out a ‘blunt.’ Before you can say ‘war on drugs,’ the baby sitter’s setting fire to the linens and has taken a dump on the baby. Then, comes the ‘moral’ of the story in the form of an intimidating voice; “You think pot is harmless? Think again.” [brought to you by the We're-not-making-money-off-of-weed-so-it's-bad Association]

Dear idiots who put stock into these commercials,

Deaths caused by cigarettes: 430,700 [annually, U.S.]
Deaths caused by excessive alcohol use: 100,000 [annually, U.S.]
Deaths caused by marijuana: 0 [annually, wait...ever]

In fact, cigarettes kill more Americans annually than crack, coke, P.C.P., heroin, meth, and ecstasy combined.

Sincerely,
Not Fooled

P.S. I don’t smoke pot, myself. [well, not very often]

So, I saw Ashley Simpson get owned on SNL. Too funny. For those of you that missed it, she got busted lip-synching. The recording of her voice started playing while her mic was held near her waist. Oh, and it was the wrong song altogether. The classy Simpson stated [at the end of the show, on live TV] that it was her bands’ fault as they were “Playing the wrong song.” Apparently, if a group of instrumentalists are strumming, plucking, and drumming away, it can trigger a magical voice to sound for everyone near to hear… Seriously.

Ashley, you deserved that. You make more money than an entire construction crew does by fooling millions of young girls into thinking that you are the image of what they should be.

I’ve noticed a new product floating around, lately. It’s a plastic handle that attaches to a 2 liter of soda. It has push-down spout so that the fat, lazy, boring, stubborn, uneducated, white-bread, asshole, simple, ignorant, American doesn’t have to fiddle with a complicated screw-off cap while he/she takes in the well-marketed sugar-water that makes up about 200% the recommended daily allowance of calories.

This makes me laugh…hard….and I peed.