13steps.com

Step 1. Fuck where you work. Make it a point to get a couple of these ‘under your belt’ [mind the pun]. This will help to develop a ‘bad rep’ and can often create jealousy in the hearts of disgusting, high-ranking, exec-ass-kissing, geeks that will ultimately be assigned to fire you.

Step 2. Socialize with an administrative assistant, thereby pissing off the executives because you’ve infiltrated their ‘elite’ ranks.

Step 3. Reply to your bosses emails with the following: “Fuck shit ass cock whore slut cunt sandwich.”

Following these simple steps should ensure a smooth, ‘two-week-less’ transition to your next [better] place of employment.

NOTE: An added [however, uncontrollable] bonus comes when the duties/responsibilities that you left behind end up being handled inefficiently due to poor delegation on the part of your ex-superiors.