13steps.com

Mood: Laid back like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused
Music: The Darkness

Well, it’s morning on my side of the planet, and that can only mean one thing - my energy pill is kicking in a tad too hard. These things make me understand how those Strongman contest guys are able to pull UPS trucks with their nutsacks.

I ate too much yesterday. My intake went as follows: Two large glasses of high-pulp orange juice, two Jimmy Dean sausage biscuits, a bowl of Campbell’s Chunky Soup, an eight-inch Big John’s steak sub, half an order of Lou & Harry’s cheese fries, two taco supremes from taco bell, a Krispy Kreme doughnut, an alfredo & veggie pasta-bake with cheese/garlic bread from Pizza Hut, some Starbursts, 90 or so ounces of water, an iced tea, and a bottle of Vernors. Wow.

This just in: My hair is doing some weird, flippy thing in the front. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

I start working out today for the first time in TOO MANY months. My belly and ass are a little bigger than I’d like them to be. Also, I want more bulk in my arms and chest. More on how that goes as the story progresses…

I just told someone that they were so old they could jump-rope with their titties. Clever…

Well, off to work now. Thanks for your time and please remember to wipe AWAY from the taint.